Friday, April 25, 2014

80's Cartoon Quiz

(This site has new content coming out here now instead: Reality-Zero ( (nerd stuff galore including sci-fi and fake news too))

 Which of each option is a real 80’s cartoon? Seriously, it's surprising how weird they get. Don't forget to write down your choice for each. Answers at the bottom.

a)- Mr. Ka-ching-
An anthropomorphic pig who uses a bag of money as a weapon.
b- El Kabong
An anthromorphic horse that uses a guitar as a weapon.
c) They’re both real.
d) They’re both fake.
a)Singing  Jellyfish that floats through the air and helps motivate his other band members by stinging them.
b) Talking shark that plays drums in a band and walks on land somehow using flippers.
c) They’re both real.
d) They’re both fake.

a) A giant purple ape named “Grape Ape”
b) A giant purple bandit named “Watermelon Felon”
c) They’re both real.
d) They’re both fake.
a) Bears living in a medieval society that drink special juice that allows them to bounce on their asses high into the air.
b) A society of time travelling gophers from the future have gained the ability to talk to machines.
c) They’re both real.
d) They’re both fake.
a) A hamster is a “werewolf” and his greatest wish is to become president of the United States.
b) A vampire duck is actually a vegetarian and tries to become famous.
c) They’re both real.
d) They’re both fake.
a) Cats with magic swords that fight against an ancient evil mummy.
b) A mouse with an eye patch that works as a spy with a mole assistant.
c) They’re both real.
d) They’re both fake.
a)Undersea creatures with air bubbles for heads called “Bulbheads”
b)Undersea creatures with snorkel like contraptions coming out of their heads, called “The Snorks.”
c) They’re both real.
d) They’re both fake.
 a) Penguins that make space ships made out of ice explore the galaxy.
 b) Mole scientists create a machine called “The Moles Claw” which burrows deep into the earth where they discover a society of lost humans.
c) They’re both real.
d) They’re both fake.

a)Stuffed bears with tattoos on their stomach that use them to shoot enforced happiness and other emotions onto their enemies.
b) Stuffed dogs are on a mission from aliens to save lost children.
c) They're both real.
d) They're both fake.




a)-El Kabong

Technically this is from the show “Quick Draw McGraw,” with El Kabong being Quick Draw’s masked secret identity. Apparently he’s supposed to be a spoof on the show “Zorro” (which just means “fox” in Spanish). Horses and foxes and weaponized acoustic guitars. You really can’t make this stuff up.
I still say my “Mr. Ka-Ching” would make a great show though.

b)Drummer shark (Jabberjaw)

 Jabberjaw is a truly bizarre concept with the most annoying mannerisms in the world. He had the whole “Nyuk nyuk!” laugh from the three stooges, and used mannerisms from another truly annoying comedian named Rodney Dangerfield. Somehow he’s a 15 foot great white shark from the year 2076 who can breathe air and has to constantly avoid being thrown out of undersea domes by “shark ejecting robots.”

Yeah, I know.
a) Grape Ape

This is also important since it’s enormously fun to say. I still maintain that “Watermelon Felon” would make a great brand for soda or something.

a) Ass bouncing it is.

The show was called the “Gummy Bears” and it was based on a line of candy. Everyone knows that always goes well. It was actually strangely good, is the amazing thing. Every once in a while you had to take a step back and remember that the show’s concept boils down to ass bouncing though.
I was quite proud of the time traveling gophers though.
b) Count Duckula.

I never saw this one myself, but man does it look weird on paper.
c) These are actually both real.

 Thundercats and Dangermouse respectively.  Both good shows, though Thundercats was pretty over the top. Dangermouse didn’t take itself seriously at all, it was more of a spoof of like James Bond type movies. Dangermouse seemed oddly fond of exploding black bombs.

b) The Snorks

You wouldn’t think this concept would ever work, but it was strangely endearing, especially the trumpeting sounds that came out of those things. Strangely funny/cool.

d) Both Fake

I made them both up. It was actually strangely hard to find the right mix of bizarre and plausible.

a) Care Bears

This was a pretty weird cartoon and strangely creepy to boot.

This whole process has mostly taught me that no matter what kind of weird stuff you can come up with on the fly, someone has made a cartoon even weirder and made children love it.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Cool Indiegogo Projects

Phone to Tablet Converter

This is absurdly awesome-a gadget for $100 that lets you turn a Samsung S3 or S4 phone into a 10 inch tablet, or even a laptop if you want. I love portability and flexibility more than is strictly a good idea, so this is right up my alley.
Really I’d prefer it if you could use any phone, but you can’t have everything. And if you could have everything, really I’d have to go with some kind of magic free energy granting fairie for everyone on the planet rather than, you know, a tablet converter thingy, no matter how cool it is.
But it is really cool.
And maybe they actually will add more phones so I can get one.

Go to Freaking Mars

The Mars One campaign on Indiegogo is definitely one of the most innovative approaches to the Mars problem I’ve seen.  They want to turn the trip to Mars into a reality show. Seriously.
I always knew that reality tv would eventually be in serious danger of letting people watch someone die live on television. Now, finally, we have the opportunity to watch a few insane explorers asphyxiate/run out of water/succumb to exposure/run out of food/ get murdered by angry Martians from the comfort of our own homes!
Or at least we will if this takes off in the next decade or two. This particular project is to fund the initial probe they want to send to test for future projects that will involve adding habitats.
This would be pretty amazing if it takes off.
The show will probably lose to Dancing with the Stars anyway though, ironically.

Fin: Gesture Tech That Might Actually Work

This Fin thing looks pretty amazing if it makes it. You can connect it to your smartphone over Bluetooth and then use it to control any device you want by just tapping your fingers together.  Make phone calls, skip through songs, and so on.
I love my new Moto X, but it’s still a bit limited when it comes to voice control. I do wonder whether gesture will be better.
It’s like a magic ring that lets you control everything like a techno wizard. But is gesture cooler than voice? Which will win?

It’ll be fun to find out though.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Sound of My Voice-Confusing in a (Mostly) Good Way

If you haven't seen Sound of My Voice yet i highly recommend it. It's very intelligent and has dynamite acting,even if the writing can be pretty confusing. But in a good way-in a think about it for a few minutes kind of way.

Sound of My Voice is a fun movie but it's plagued by terminal ambiguity. Is she a timetraveler? Is she not? Ambiguity is OK, when it supports multiple readings each of which work just as well. But when mysteries have no explanation at all, or are directly contradictory it just seems like bad writing. Still- the “emotional orgasm” moment was awesome and the ambiguity of Peter’s view of the cult leader was interesting too. Creators say more tv/movie stuff will answer questions, but this reviewer- made a good point that it was coherent enough to be much of a carrot. My interpretation- very intelligent children are being prepared for something. 

Maggie from some kind of splinter group that is trying to gain access to children who are being enhanced in some way and she’s trying to gain access to them. The injections we see elude to some special program, and the towers elude to some gift. The only piece of info that “proves” her claims is the handshake. This is easily dismissed if we assume that Maggie had access to her file or information about her some other way. Maggie is either deluded or a con woman. She’s gathering children who are gifted to form some messed up society. 

You could also say her preknowledge about going to jail proves her credentials, but it could mean that she suspected her meeting was going to be dangerous. Until we get more information, this is the most likely explanation. Going the other way leaves way too many questions. If she is a time traveler, why does the FBI have files on her? She picked up interest along the way? If she were gathering children that she thought would be important in the future, why is she so dominant and creepy? As a stand alone, the movie definitely came up short, it doesn’t say anything except maybe “I am pointlessly confusing.” I suppose that could be potentially remedied in an ongoing story, depending on how that was done.
Still, either way, this great concept and fantastic acting could’ve received much better writing.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Scientific Telekinesis, Here We Come

“I’ll admit it’s the future when I can control everything with my mind.” People who say this are being pessimistic, downplaying the amazing way humanity is increasing its understanding and power over the universe.
Well pessimists, better come up with some new one liners, because telekinesis is more or less here. There are several products out on the market now that let people alter the world around them physically one way or another, using only the power of the mind. Here’s a few.

Mind-Controlled Cars (that light up!)

A graduate from Design Academy Eindhoven is using an electroencephalography (EEG) headset to take the electric activity in your brain and turn it into signals to control a car. The car lights up too, with the intensity of the light matching how much you focus on the car. So the old phony depictions of psychics putting their fingers over their temples and having head spams while staring at an object might actually do something now besides make everyone laugh.
In fact, the researchers are marketing the car as a way to help train people who have ADHD to focus their minds on tasks for longer. It’s not quite a mentalist helmet that shoots lasers yet, but just give it time.

Bionic Limbs

This is only kind of telekinesis, a kind of remote telekinesis, but it still counts. There’s the story of the Re-Net program, for example, where a guy from Iraq who lost his arm got a prosthetic one that actually works pretty much just like a regular arm. Check out the amazing video below where he picks up a cup, bounces a ball, and catches a gossamer piece of cloth. This is all done through the-innervation, where your nerves are re-wired into the prosthetic, allowing you to control it with existing muscle wiring.
Then there’s Pierpaolo Petruzzielo who lost his left arm in a car accident. The LifeHand project implanted electrodes in his arm that allows him to manipulate a hand remotely. It’s not even directly connected to his arm!

Mind Control Headband

Then there’s MUSE, the Indiegogo project that lets you-

·         Play games
·         Operate appliances
·         Analyze your thoughts

All with just your brain! The most awesome thing here is the game they re-created from the mind-control episode of TNG where you try to make balls go into cones.

Now you can do it for real, nerds rejoice! Besides just making remote controlled vehicles roll around and playing super simplistic video games, you can also take a look at your stress levels based on your brain patterns, and focusing on getting it down.

This is a game that everyone in the world can benefit from.

It’s like mind improving psychic magic.

For science!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Cyborg Cockroaches Will Save Us from Nuclear Disaster (with Real Science!)

At this point you must be thinking to yourself- “No way,” But allow me to respond to you in the traditional way of my nation, the Interwebs-


 This is real, scientists are actually using technology to control the paths of cockroaches. And they’re doing it by essentially electrocuting their antennae. When one of the antenna are “stimulated” the cockroach thinks that there is a wall or obstacle in the way, and will instead turn in the opposite direction. So, by this simple method you can make cockroaches turn this way and that.

That’s right, electrocuting cockroaches lets you control them.


 But it’s true that this bring up a few quandaries. Like-

Why would anyone ever want to do this? 

Well, as you may or may not know, it sucks when buildings explode and fall on you. OK fine- you probably already knew that. But what you probably didn't know, is that continually-electrocuted cyborg cockroaches could be your one hope for survival.

The idea behind this is that it could be useful for mapping out destroyed buildings that are hard for humans to get to, but as we all know, cockroaches can get into anything. In this case scientists are using this power for the forces of good. Some have even suggested putting a button on the back of a cockroach so that if they happen to pass near a trapped person in the rubble during their quest to map out the area/not get electrocuted, someone could tap it and rescuers would immediately know there was someone trapped under ground.

And even beyond that, researchers have noted that in the long run are tiny nasty potential rescuers could help as sort of insectoid first responders, going into areas where humanity dare not venture. For example, the recent disaster at Fukishima, has some people wondering If our poison-and-radiation-resistant friends could be the answer to getting stuff done in dangerous areas without risking people. So in the future, instead of screaming at the top of your lungs when you see one of these things, you may be saying-

Thank god, I’m saved!

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Bizarre Indiegogo Projects

One thing I find to be a lot of fun whenever I get a new phone like a HTC One, a Moto X, or one of the other phones I desperately want, is checking out really weird Indiegogo projects. And god knows that there are a lot of them.

Sprayable Energy?

Did you ever wish you could spray an energy drink onto your face instead of having to actually drink it? Of course you do.

It’s all the fun of drinking coffee or energy drinks but you know, without any of that tedious drinking. Who wants to actually taste a chocolaty mocha drink when you can have the great joy of absorbing it through your neck instead?

If so-well, brother, today is your lucky day.

Yes, this is for real on Indiegogo. It has the same principle as a Nicotine patch, since both Nicotine and Caffeine can be absorbed through the skin. Yes, just like a Nicotine patch- except instead of helping break your addiction to something, it will help you get more addicted.

Really though, it seems like it does work. So if being awake is all you want, then by all means go for it. Yay science.


Watch the Creation of the Earth in 3D

Since Douglas Adams brought us the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, why not let creationists bring is the magic birth of the Earth in 3D?

One of the comments on this project says “It's like a time machine, I feel like I'm actually witnessing the creation of the Earth.” This brings up a confusing point. For example, if you were there at the creation of the universe, then you must be god. Because no one else was there. And if you're God, wouldn't you find a human depiction of your

Regardless of your personal religious beliefs, what makes this movie particularly bizarre and hilarious is how they go into detail about the 3D technology, yet ignore all of the science behind cosmology. The Creation of the Universe 3D project includes such dubious highlights at “Literal Biblical Precision” and “Impacts the lost” whatever that means.

And even more than that it’s how they dance around Kent Hovind.

They have his son on here-Eric Hovind-

So why not Papa, shouldn’t the so called “Dr. Dino” one of the most famous creationists around, make it to the list of other famous people on the project such as Kirk Cameron,?

Could it be because he’s currently in jail? But hey, I’m here to help. They could add this picture and text right to the bottom.

Kent “Dr. Dino” Hovind/Professional Fraudster

Kent is uniquely situated to help an indiegogo campaign designed to swindle people out of money, considering he’s been stealing money from the federal government for years! He's taking time out of his busy schedule down at the Federal Correctional Instituion in Berlin, New Hampshire.

Singing Lightening

From time to time, all of us have probably had that classic lament- “Sure bolts of lightning are cool and all, but they sure suck at playing music. The plasmonic Tesla Coil seeks to remedy this. It combines all the deadly force of lightening with all the…musicality of…. Thunder?

In order to get a sense of what this thing is like, imagine something as simple as bees. Got it? OK good. Nice simple bees. Now imagine those bees are singing in harmony in a sort of buzzing electronic MIDI chorus, like an entirely Bee Philharmonic.

Now imagine those bees are all shooting lightening out of their stingers, and you’ll have the Plasmonic in a nutshell.

Seriously though, this thing is cool, if strange. It’s an electronic music device that doesn’t use speakers. Instead, it just burns the air, vibrating it and making sound, while at the same time firing off a visible tesla coil bolt. It would be like if Nikolai Tesla were a DJ at the world’s coolest club.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

New Indie Games That Prove Old School “16 Bit” Is Making a Comeback

It’s not just that you can play SNES games on your Android now with an emulator that’s making old style games come back into vogue on all of the awesome new phones that you can upgrade to these days like the Moto X.

 It’s also the huge influx of Indie games in places like KickStarter and Indiegogo that are revitalizing old school gamer graphics. It just goes to show that there’s a reason why many people vote a 16 bit game- Chrono Trigger the best video game of all time.

People love the whole package in games-music, mood, and writing, way more than they care about how great the graphics are ultimately. And now that indie gamers have been let loose on the world, we are probably going to see this more and more- the experience of video games being emphasized over just mere spectacle.

Here are a few examples of this happening right now.

HyperLight Drifter

This game is like Chrono Trigger meets the Terminator? Sound awesome?
It is-

A better comparison in terms of gameplay would be like a Link to the Past. Imagine playing Chrono Trigger, but instead of the whole RPG choose your attack thing, you hit a button to swing your sword, hit a button to fire your ‘hardlight” cannon, and so on. I admit I always wondered what some of the more awesome RPG titles would be like they had more of an open action-RPG approach. In my incredibly humble opinion Action RPG is the best game type.

And God, this game looks so unique. It has the whole post-apocalyptic vibe going on, with huge robotic and bio-monsters, and a real lone-hero-with-cape feel. Everything is monolithic looking, like in Shadows of the Collosus, but with more of a sci fi feel.

Hyperlight is still on Kickstarter still as of the time of this posting, and will be for a few more weeks.

Here's a comparison that might look familiar.

      Hyperlight with a campfire loner feel.

  ChronoTrigger, with a campfire team feel. It almost looks like Magus (the purple cloak guy on the right) should migrate up into the top loner screenshot.

Mighty Number 9

If haunting post-apocalyptic sci-fi isn’t your speed, how about a happy Japanimation megaman clone? Mighty No. 9 might not be technically 16-bit, but it’s definitely done in an original 16 bit sidescroller style. It looks like they’re going to stick with some of the stuff that Made MegaMan fun back in the day, but with weird cool stuff added in like being able to turn into random tools.

Apparently you’ll be able to steal some “cell” energy after beating enemies and store it, using it when you’re fighting even harder bosses later on to do cool stuff like fill the screen with fire, or do tons of punches, so it’s keeping the strategy from Megaman and raising the stakes. It might even come to Nintendo 3DS at some point, which would look super fantastic.

Crystal Kingdom

Crystal Kingdom is taking old school JRPG and adding in the MMO for some great letter combinations. That’s right, instead of just have 2 or 3 friends jump in on an SNES type RPG game, you can play with the entire Internet!

You can play for free since it’s currently in open Beta.

It really makes you wonder just how awesome retro 16 bit games are going to get. Maybe we'll start 16 bit-ifying modern games. A 16 bit RPG version of CoD would be sweet maybe?