Cyborg Cockroaches Will Save Us from Nuclear Disaster (with Real Science!)

At this point you must be thinking to yourself- “No way,” But allow me to respond to you in the traditional way of my nation, the Interwebs-

Way.

 This is real, scientists are actually using technology to control the paths of cockroaches. And they’re doing it by essentially electrocuting their antennae. When one of the antenna are “stimulated” the cockroach thinks that there is a wall or obstacle in the way, and will instead turn in the opposite direction. So, by this simple method you can make cockroaches turn this way and that.

That’s right, electrocuting cockroaches lets you control them.

 Awesome!

 But it’s true that this bring up a few quandaries. Like-

Why would anyone ever want to do this? 

Well, as you may or may not know, it sucks when buildings explode and fall on you. OK fine- you probably already knew that. But what you probably didn't know, is that continually-electrocuted cyborg cockroaches could be your one hope for survival.

The idea behind this is that it could be useful for mapping out destroyed buildings that are hard for humans to get to, but as we all know, cockroaches can get into anything. In this case scientists are using this power for the forces of good. Some have even suggested putting a button on the back of a cockroach so that if they happen to pass near a trapped person in the rubble during their quest to map out the area/not get electrocuted, someone could tap it and rescuers would immediately know there was someone trapped under ground.

And even beyond that, researchers have noted that in the long run are tiny nasty potential rescuers could help as sort of insectoid first responders, going into areas where humanity dare not venture. For example, the recent disaster at Fukishima, has some people wondering If our poison-and-radiation-resistant friends could be the answer to getting stuff done in dangerous areas without risking people. So in the future, instead of screaming at the top of your lungs when you see one of these things, you may be saying-

Thank god, I’m saved!